Thursday, November 13, 2008,
I'm slowly dying day by day. Why must you always ruin everything i've always done for you. You still dared to say i'm useless when you had ALWAYS relied on me. You've never ever think of wat you are going to say before you say it. I always try to enjoy my life making you happy but you just love to ruin it don't you? You always think of me as him. Every single bad thing i've done it's bcoz of him. He tought me every single bad thing that i've done. You dare say that when you are worst than him.
You are always so superstitious. That's wat i hate most about you. Every single thing must always be connected to something. You've never believe in fate, i don't even think you believe in God at all. You think every1 wants to "sabo" you everytime. Look at yourself for god's sake. You behave UN-humanly. I don't even know how to explain your behaviour. Yet the same thing keeps happening again, & the only thing you say to me is "it's all bcoz of him". I'm freakin sick of your shit alrdy okay. There's no way for me to change or stop you. You are just too headstrong & god dammit your EGO is just to damn high isn't it?
Yet you always come to me crying your ass of telling me "i've never done anything wrong but why is this happening?" YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG?!! You should really wake up from your sleep. Yet i'm stuck with your problems just bcoz you have no1 else. Everytime i'm with you, it's like i'm having a very very bad nightmare okay. I never said this to you coz i know you would go blaming him again. You see, it's no point. You always end every single thing with HIM! God dammit!
I always try to help you but you just don't want to be helped don't you? Your ego & stubbornness, that always make me sick of you. You are so weak now yet you wanna act like you're so strong and you have no weaknesses. It's just so hard to understand you. I always prayed for you, i can't say it's useless coz that will be rude. But you never change at all. I guess only God can deal with you. I really wanna leave you but i just sympathize you too much. Coz if i leave you, that will really be the end for you. Yet you still can say you don't need me. I shall not say anymore about you coz to write about you, even the whole internet is not enough. I didn't wish to be born with this life but i always think of it all as just a test from God.
~Dear God, I shall say no more. Please help him & her~
15:38
